Flytrap Games

Go drive-by shooting in a helicopter

Doree — 2010-03-10T15:45:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Swords & Lasers, Guns & Ammo

One part fairground coconut shy to two parts on-rails blaster, Windhawk is about ridding the sky of every combat helicopter save your own. Point, click, soak up the 3D backdrop facades and try not to let anything return fire.

Play Windhawk

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And the Most Overworked Game Mascot award goes to...

Doree — 2010-03-10T11:55:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Retro Arcade, Running & Jumping

It's a busy life at the top. Mario's been in more games than Jesus (probably not all that shocking a statement, now I think about it) and the flood doesn't seem to be drying up. If we were him, we'd have faked our death and retired to an uncharted Caribbean island by now.

Go on, Mario - one more before you don that hula skirt.

Play Super Mario Star Scramble

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Hunt synonyms to fund students

Edwin — 2010-03-10T10:57:00 00:00

Filed under: Facebook Games, Word & Number Puzzles

Fancy helping a talented but cash-strapped youngster through university? Well, there's the hard way and the easy way. Seeing as you're here, surfing for free games, we assume you don't want to hear about the hard way. So go play Word Whiz instead.

For every 100 clicks you give this straightforward Facebook word quiz, another 10 cents will disappear into the pockets of the great minds of tomorrow.

Get addicted, and you could generate hundreds of dollars in donations. Which they'll immediately blow on rum and cokes. Or flash acoustic guitars they'll never bother to play. Or an Xbox 360.

Fun game, though, isn't it?

Play Word Whiz

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The game of the future: kill things by screaming at them

Edwin — 2010-03-10T09:31:00 00:00

Filed under: Top Drawer Download, Funny & Weird, On the 'Tube

I would have paid several cold, hard British pounds to be in the room when Glen Forrester and Arthur Lee demoed Gnilley to an unsuspecting public at Game Jam Sydney. Watch the video above to learn why. Got a microphone? Download the prototype to get in on the action.

YAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

Play Gnilley

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Robot wants Cat (but does Cat want Robot?)

Doree — 2010-03-10T08:48:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Running & Jumping

Rabbit wanted Cake, and now Robot wants Cat. Want, want, want. And meanwhile, children in countless impoverished nations drop dead for lack of a clean water supply. (Ludicrous social commentary ends... now.)

Robot wants Cat is a rather brilliantly self-contained run-and-jumper in which you, a weeny robot, try to slake your thirst for feline company. The cat doesn't get any say in the matter, no. This involves navigating one large level-puzzle, enhancing your capabilities floating power-up icon by floating power-up icon.

Brought to you by the publishers of the equally awesome One Button Bob.

Play Robot wants Cat

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End the day depressingly with this beautiful adventure

Doree — 2010-03-09T12:58:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games

Loondon is a gorgeously upholstered fairytale adventure game - or interactive short story, rather, as you can't really alter what turns out to be a rather nihilistic chain of events.

Point and click to guide the mishappen but kindly Jonah from the fairground of his birth to the city of his dreams. ImmorTall plots a similarly sumptuous downward spiral.

Play Loondon

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The good, the odd and the shameful: game trailers

Edwin — 2010-03-09T11:04:00 00:00

Filed under: Top 10, Console Choice, Galleries, On the 'Tube

The best part of gaming isn't the bit when you actually sit down with a controller, bowl of golden syrup and bag of Pop Tarts to play the wretched thing. No, no. Much as the hottest sex is all about anticipation, so the hottest gaming thrills are, er, all about anticipation too.

And what better way to anticipate (in both senses) than via the joy of video? You've got all the good stuff from the final product - sliced, diced and Photoshopped to a crisp by marketing professionals - without having to whack a billion rat-goblins or gun down a trillion Nazis.

Indeed, why would you bother buying the final product at all? (A question they probably don't want you to ask.) Below are 11 of our ultra-favouritest game or hardware-related trailers and adverts. Pass the popcorn.

PlayStation 2 advert - "Welcome To The Third Place"
The mighty David Lynch assembled this enigmatic PlayStation 2 ad. It gives us the willies.

Xbox 360 advert - "Bang!"
This hilarious TV spot never made it to our living rooms. Wonder why?

Killzone 2 Reveal Trailer
If you think this looks epic, imagine the fallout when it was found that the footage had been, shall we say, glammed up a tad.

Flower Official Trailer
A wistful Donovan score for a wistful game.

Gears of War - "Mad World" Trailer
More wistfulness, but this time in a darker, desecrated environment.

Assassin's Creed - Debut Trailer
Ubisoft's medieval hack-and-stabber dripped potential from the get-go.

Metal Gear Solid 2 - Announcement Trailer
Nine minutes of hiding, seeking and expositing.

Metal Gear Solid 4 - Teaser Trailer
Care for some bizarre Japanese in-jokes?

Dreamcast advert - "Up To Six Billion Players"
The ill-fated Dreamcast had some rather kickass adverts.

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - Reveal Trailer
Just how seriously can people take a simple videogame? Usually not as seriously as this, thank God.

Xbox Advert - "Life is Short"
Edgy, thy name is Microsoft.

Go on, add some to the list.

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Leave your good taste at the door: it's Babe Rescue

Doree — 2010-03-09T06:36:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Running & Jumping, Guns & Ammo

Give a man his babes, a chunky pixellated can of beer, a pair of sunglasses and a cigar, and he's yours for life. Conversely, take those things away and - well, I just hope those light fittings weren't expensive.

Babe Rescue is a Duke-Nukem-esque side-scrolling shooter. Black-suited goons have made off with your scantily-clad handmaidens. Lock and load.

Needs more radioactive teddy bear zombies, we reckon.

Play Babe Rescue

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Ball-and-line puzzler sets benchmark for accessiblity

Edwin — 2010-03-09T06:03:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics

Tonypa's Taberinos is a textbook winner: simple hook, smooth implementation, tons of substance. Point and click to fire a ball around a rectangular arena, removing lines by touching them. You've only got a limited number of shots, so setting up chains of ricochets is desirable.

Later levels introduce nodes that only disappear once you've obliterated all the connecting lines. Some will spawn additional lines if you touch them, the cheeky devils.

If you like it colourful, give Flicking Crazy Golf a whirl. Cheers, Bart.

Play Taberinos

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Demolition Dude dreams of a flat Earth

Doree — 2010-03-09T05:15:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics

Demolition Dude arrived at a perfect time. Our internet connection's playing up, see, and right now I'd just love to knock some buildings down. Preferably those housing employees of British Telecom, PLC.

The titular dude used to own a demolitions business, only to default on a loan and lose his every material possession. Understandably embittered, he's decided to wipe the Earth clean of freestanding architecture.

Drag-click to catapult the blocky misanthrope at various wobbly block edifices. Mysteriously but, as far as the difficulty factor's concerned, usefully, red-tinted buildings must be spared destruction.

Nitrome's Rubble Trouble has more gadgets to play with.

Play Demolition Dude

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Twist your brain to access new dimensions

Edwin — 2010-03-08T16:13:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games, Running & Jumping

Free World Group's Brain Twister is like a less depressing version of Time Fcuk with the spin-the-levels mechanic from Turnz. Your job? To get a little pink man to the little white exit. You can run and jump, but athleticism alone won't save you.

No indeedy. You'll also need to warp between dimly-lit background and well-illuminated foreground via the space bar, not to mention spin the entire world on its axis with Z and X. Go have a fiddle.

Play Brain Twister

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Anime-fan academy seeks trigger-happy principal

Edwin — 2010-03-08T15:34:00 00:00

Filed under: Generals & Tycoons, Free Online Games

It's been a long day. By now you're probably settling down in front of the box to watch Glee, or doing your ironing or something. Well WAKE UP. You've got a school to run.

What school? This school, idiot. The one with all the big-eyed, porcelain-skinned, magic-wielding youths in it. You've got to make Real Men of them. Or Real Women, as appropriate. Real Somethings.

So how does one make a Real Something out of an, er, Unreal Something? Well, one takes it out into the countryside and orders it to thump a lot of wild animals. Excellent.

Play Valthirian Arc

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Another candidate for the craziest point and clicker ever

Doree — 2010-03-08T14:47:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games

What do you get when you cross the Garden of Eden with a middle-aged Icarus, a snake with a washboard, a frying pan with a hoover?

Play Graduation 2

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No miner gets left behind in underground platforming escapade

Edwin — 2010-03-08T05:00:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games, Running & Jumping

As that rubbishy Carling advert puts it (or perhaps Budweiser, or maybe Stella Artois - whatever, it's good for SEO), you know who your mates are. [It's Carling - Doree]

They're the ones not abandoning you to rot in an underground labyrinth notable for the spikiness of its spikes and the frequency of its pitfalls. In Best Friend Forever 3, the only thing left behind is selfishness. Sob. I love you chaps.

Arrow keys are good for motion, space bar's your go-to guy for character-swapping. Consider also this woolly trio.

Play Best Friend Forever 3

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Help a frog become the next Mario

Doree — 2010-03-08T04:10:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Retro Arcade, Running & Jumping

Ease open the lid of Monday morning gently with a simple platformer from Newgrounds. Frogs don't belong in platforming games... or do they?

Play Next Action Frog

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Drill queen quests against planet-munching monstrosity

Edwin — 2010-03-05T12:01:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games, Running & Jumping

Everybody remember the movie The Core? Theia is like that. Something's gone wrong with the middle bit of the planet, and you have to get down there and sort it out.

But there's a catch. Of course there is. And that catch is that you have to walk. Fortunately, your character (who looks a bit like a sock monkey) does have some native advantages. She can tunnel under stuff, and she can push stuff.

Not exactly a blockbuster thrill-ride then. Fun though. The block-and-key puzzles put us in mind of the Legend of Zelda games.

Play Theia

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Ugly Americans sitcom gets handsome browser game

Edwin — 2010-03-05T09:33:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games, Funny & Weird

Zeebarf, creator of such oddball odysseys as A Small Favor and Reemus and Liam, has once again pooled his formidable talents with those of Comedy Central in the form of Citizen Ugly, a superbly satirical point and clicker.

Inspired by the show Ugly Americans, the game slips you into the shoes of Mark Lilly, a social worker at the US Department of Integration. Having escaped your ex-girlfriend's handcuffs, you must help 10 recent immigrants find their feet before your jingoistic boss gets them all deported.

This being a rather fantastical endeavour, those immigrants include two-headed "Starbuks" cashiers and a pregnant octopus. The dialogue rarely fails to tickle.

Play Citizen Ugly

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Every secret agent needs a fake iPhone

Doree — 2010-03-05T04:21:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games

Flonga's Flophone Top Secret is either a point and click game for people who wish they were secret agents, or a point and click game for people who wish they owned an iPhone. Or both, I suppose.

The idea is thusly: you get emails from HQ on your "Flophone". Then you hit the world map, find a facility, infiltrate via much prising of vents or locating of keycards, and take photos of incriminating material, again with your Flophone.

Alternatively, you could just play Pong on it. Always nice to have options. For something a bit more short-term, fire up the self-explanatory You Have 60 Seconds To Live.

Play Flophone Top Secret

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When snowboards meet scoreboards

Doree — 2010-03-04T11:38:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games, Multiplayer Fests

Extreme Heli Boarding 2 is Bubblebox's latest attempt to get the world's snowboarders off those dangerous alpine slopes and back in front of a computer where they belong. It's a basic, point-collecting, physics-driven racer, but unlike in other racers your position on the leaderboards fluctuates right before your eyes as you play.

It's hardly the most "extreme" or compelling of features but... well, it sort of is. Weirdly. You'll find yourself holding your breath as you slip back into the 80s, and sighing in relief on regaining the relative respectability of the below-50s.

Ask yourself this, though: wouldn't you rather do it with penguins?

Play Extreme Heli Boarding 2

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All steam ahead for aerial combat strategy

Edwin — 2010-03-04T10:36:00 00:00

Filed under: Generals & Tycoons, Free Online Games

Fond of beige maps, directional arrows and the phrase "Tally ho skipper, let's get those Jerries"? Mr and Mrs Armor Games have a present for you, a sleek little historical strategy game called Steam Birds.

That's historical in a free-and-easy sense, anyway. We doubt WWII fighter pilots enjoyed the benefits of energy shields and nitro injectors.

Point and click to order planes around, bringing down the Luftwaffe at as little cost to your own forces as possible.

Play Steam Birds

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Mechanically minded? Play this

Edwin — 2010-03-04T09:54:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics

I've just spent half-an-hour trying to propel Captain Haddock (yes, the guy from Tintin) up a staircase. Stupid simulated physics.

Imagicile will be mighty familiar if you've played Fantastic Contraption, the nearest thing the build-your-own-vehicle genre has to a household name.

The idea is to get your driver (and just the driver, thankfully) to the finish zone by clamping various wheels and motors to his or her chassis, then watching as the whole thing fails to find traction and grinds to a spasmodic halt. Gah.

Play Imagicile

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How not to use a time-shifting gun

Edwin — 2010-03-04T05:30:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Running & Jumping

If I owned a gun that could stop time, I'd put it to such noble purposes as prolonging my Monday morning lie-ins ad infinitum and instantly relieving attractive strangers of their clothing.

What I wouldn't do is go hunt door keys whilst getting shot at or catapulted into spikes or tumbled into pits. As in Time Sphere, the latest twitch-jumper from Eggys Games. Arrow keys move, mouse button aims and fires a ball of freeze-framey goodness.

See also Last Egg Alive and Tempus Terminus.

Play Time Sphere

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Play Whack-A-Mole with your friends' faces

Doree — 2010-03-03T12:49:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Mobile & iPhone Games, Funny & Weird

Do you prefer to express your affection for acquaintances and loved ones by smacking them with a hammer? Rejoice! Now you can do it in a socially acceptable fashion via everybody's favourite reasons to get mugged, the iPhone and iPod Touch.

Get Even is touchscreen whack-a-mole, with the important difference that you can grab and paste photos onto the moles. See that blank, holey canvas above? Imagine populating it with friendly faces. And hitting them.

Go on, it's only 59p. Alternatively, you could use your Facebook photo collection to hasten your flight from rampaging dinosaurs.

Play Get Even (iTunes link)

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Giant space worm vs robot stormtroopers

Doree — 2010-03-03T12:28:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Swords & Lasers

Compassion, self-restraint in adversity, an eye for inner beauty - all qualities you needn't worry about when you're a huge, man-eating worm.

What you do need to worry about is uppity imperial mechanoids mining your home planet to bits. Take up the mouse, and make yourself known to the surface dwellers.

Abduction's just as bloodthirsty.

Play Worm Land

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Art thievery doesn't pay, does entertain

Edwin — 2010-03-03T12:00:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games

Fancy putting your knowledge of oil painting to the test? Spend a few minutes in the sneakers of an art thief.

Miniclip's highly cultured stealth fest pitches players into a series of increasingly well-guarded museums and orders them to make off with iconic artworks. That's Goya's "Cronus Devouring His Children" in the picture there. Aren't we up-market?

The presentation is a bit redolent of Rat Race, which asks rather more of your pulse rate.

Play Art Thief

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Play Six Nations rugger in your browser

Edwin — 2010-03-03T09:02:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games, Celebrity Connection

One for all the rugby fiends/O2 customers out there. Chargy Bargy Grand Slam sees your doughty fullback careening up the field through the massed ranks of enemy forwarders and midfielders. Don't get flattened, do pick up energy drinks.

Play Chargy Bargy Grand Slam

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Master your keyboard to topple the monster

Edwin — 2010-03-03T04:31:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Word & Number Puzzles

The pen may not, in point of fact (emphasis on the "point"), be mightier than the sword, but the keyboard certainly out-performs the cannibal. In Keyboard Mayhem, the idea is to type out words as they appear in order to bash a ravening fat dude off a cliff. Funny stuff.

War of the Words is a more complicated, genocidal take on the same theme.

Play Keyboard Mayhem

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The secret life of cubes

Doree — 2010-03-02T11:56:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games

Every cube has a dream - a dream of one day lying coloured side down on a tile of that colour. Guess what, you can help make the dream a reality. Point and click to shuffle wistful blocks around the board in this chunky 3D puzzle game.

Play Cubor

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Gordon Brown in online fisticuffs

Doree — 2010-03-02T11:08:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Celebrity Connection, Funny & Weird

Mousebreaker doesn't take kindly to celebrity mishap, in much the same way that Gordon Brown doesn't take kindly to his staff. Oh yes he does! Oh no he doesn't! Whom to believe?

Gordon Brown Beat Down should get the Prime Minister's blood boiling. It's a snappy little action game in which you, as Gordie, backhand snotty Tories (including a disguised David Cameron) by dragging and clicking. Watch out for timid Labourites though.

Play Gordon Brown Beat Down

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The terrors of high altitude jogging

Edwin — 2010-03-02T06:21:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Precision & Timing

Skipmore deserves a lot more attention than it gets. I can't think of another bunch of developers who turn out such elegant, stripped-down game concepts, nor another bunch of developers who reach across the language barrier so effortlessly. Hmm, except Minoto maybe.

Runner is exactly what it sounds like: a game about running. All you have to do is click when the little stick figure treads on an "X" to turn him round a corner, or bounce him over a gap. Simple, no?

Of course it isn't. Click too early, and the poor little guy will blow up. No, we don't now why. Nor do we need to. Click too late, of course, and he'll hurtle off an edge. THE PRESSURE.

A hazardous business, this bipedal movement malarkey.

Play Runner

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Small is beautiful, even for tanks

Edwin — 2010-03-01T12:41:00 00:00

Filed under: Generals & Tycoons, Free Online Games

It's been scientifically proven that the smaller something is, the cuter it gets. No child will snuggle up to a full-grown North American grizzly, for instance, but shrink the brute down to shoebox size and you'll have to tear it from their selfish pudgy fingers.

Ditto Tower Defence. This specimen's no different to any other, really, but just LOOK AT THE WIDDLE TANKIES. Aww.

Play mini Tower Defence

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Coal mining is better with robots

Doree — 2010-03-01T12:05:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics, Running & Jumping

The first thing you'll want to do when playing Coal Runner is hit space bar to skip the silly overblown story intro. If we wanted to see scrolling text, we'd carpet the room with newspaper, lie face-down and ask a friend to drag us slowly from one wall to the other by our hair.

The second thing you'll want to do is take everything you ever knew about coal mines and throw it out the window. Metaphorically speaking. A sense of balance and a little finesse with the old arrow keys will serve you better here than a PhD in Geology.

For subterranean antics of a more sombre kind, try Aubital. In other news: Fugitive Penguin Liberates Old Zoo Comrades.

Play Coal Runner

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Celeb-mageddon is imminent

Edwin — 2010-03-01T08:44:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Celebrity Connection, Guns & Ammo

Some would say throwing Molotov cocktails at the Oscars guestlist is a horrific practice, and that games based on the same are little more than pornography. These people are of course In The Right, and should direct their outrage at our complaints department. Go on.

Have they all gone? Right, let's napalm some celebrities. I bagsy Meryl Streep.

Hit our recent starry-eyed game round-up for more famous faces.

Play Glorious Cocktails

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Walking dictionaries needed - hidden words ahoy

Doree — 2010-03-01T07:11:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Word & Number Puzzles

Lateral is a... hmm, what's it called. Had it a moment ago. Tip of my tongue. No, not 'taste bud'. Aha, word game! That's it.

As in many a word game, the idea here is to guess words. As in not so many a word game, these words join up into a big spider diagram. Words directly connected by lines have something in common - e.g. "catflap" with "pets" and "doorway" - so in order to unpick each mystery term you'll need to - wait for it! - think laterally.

Cracking starred words unlocks new levels. There are over 300 user-created examples loitering out back, to which you might easily add a few of your own. Longevity shouldn't be an issue, then.

Play Lateral

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Instant LOL - Flytrap's funniest free games

Edwin — 2010-03-01T05:38:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Top 10, Top Drawer Download, Galleries, Funny & Weird

While researching this article, Doree and I looked up the definition of humour on Wikipedia - to whit, 'the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement'. Accordingly, we created a graph with two axes - 'laughter' and 'amusement' - in order to calculate, once and for all, the funniness of each and every game we play.

This graph was submitted to Flytrap High Command for final approval. In response to extensive SEO-related feedback, we changed 'laughter' to 'Lady Gaga (per gallon)' and 'Amusement' to 'Extra-Large Deep Crust Pepperoni'.

We then fed the data into our central computer core and marvelled at all the pretty lights and smoke till the nice men in fetching phallic helmets came and dragged us out to the carpark.

Fortunately Doree kept hold of his laptop, so we drafted the feature while the paramedics were busy resuscitating the office cat.

Back to the Cubeture
'I'm going to pull your whiskers off and give them to charity!' Austin Powers meets Peekshow.

ButaVX: Justice Fighter (free download)
Small pig loses football, goes on hallucinatory rampage.

Ching Chong Beautiful
Takashi's Castle, Flash platforming style. Run, jump, stumble, fall, endure mockery.

Fantasy Telemarketer
Win over the punters and try not to wet yourself.

Hide the Fart
UNLEASH THE FURY (discreetly).

HR-mageddon
Send your salespeople to dry-hump their executives.

Johnny Rocketfingers
Sarky, sexist, 'suppish'. The secret lovechild of Phillip Marlowe and Wesley Snipes.

Social Networking Wars
Kill Facebook before it kills your attention span.

Steamshovel Harry
The most action-packed space game you'll ever play. Pay careful attention to the tutorials.

Whack your Boss
20 different ways to wipe that smile off his face.

Which Way Adventure
Always tease a Manticore.

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Get some Es for your bees

Edwin — 2010-02-26T13:37:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Funny & Weird, Precision & Timing

If your average Friday night's entertainment involves ingesting some form of illegal compound, please accept farmBee with our compliments. The effects are similar, but cheaper. Here's Addicsjon for tomorrow morning.

Enjoy the weekend!

Play farmBee

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Go platform-puzzling with Shaun the Sheep

Doree — 2010-02-26T12:38:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Celebrity Connection, Fun with Physics, Running & Jumping

Everybody familiar with Shaun the Sheep? The charismatic wool-producer made his first screen appearance in Aardman's wonderful stop motion comedy Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave, but like any self-respecting pop star he soon split from the band.

Having stormed the TV and DVD world, Shaun's turned to Flash gaming. Home Sheep Home is an awesome platform puzzler in which the Sheepster, wee sidekick Timmy and the heavily obese Shirley try to find their way home to the barn.

Unlike the Galactic Commandos trio, Shaun, Timmy and Shirley have the same basic run-and-jump capabilities. Where they differ is in weight. Most puzzles revolve around physics, so you'll need the right waistline for the job: Shirley can knock over large objects, for instance, but isn't much use on a tightrope.

Play Home Sheep Home

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Neon VR racing - not for the colourblind

Doree — 2010-02-26T07:42:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games, Retro Arcade

We weren't going to blog Neon Rider, on account of its being "basically the same old 2D physics racer with Tron's looks and silly music, and anyway it's nearly lunchtime", but thankfully wiser minds (mine) prevailed.

See, Neon Rider is a 2D physics racer with a difference: the Etch-a-Sketch racetrack is divided into red, blue, yellow and green wires, and you have to be the same colour as a wire to ride it (blue line excepted). Control the bike with WASD, and switch colours with the arrow keys.

For more chameleon antics, try Primary.

Play Neon Rider

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Rip pixels from gas giants with your cursor

Edwin — 2010-02-26T07:07:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics

Gravity. Officially the hottest thing in videogaming. Oh sure, they'll tell you it's all about guns and swords and lowering your blood pressure and stuff, but then again who are 'they', exactly? Mere hypothetical entities we've just invented to provide a counterargument, that's who.

So don't you listen to 'them'. Play Eon instead. It has streams of coloured pixels, which will please the retroheads, and sucky puzzle action. That's 'sucky' in a good way, by the by. No, not in that way, you filthy person. Try to keep it clean. There are 43-year-old women reading this, you know.

Play Eon

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Derby road to be named after Lara Croft

Edwin — 2010-02-26T06:19:00 00:00

Filed under: Celebrity Connection, News & Abuse, Console Choice

Lara Croft, archaeologist cum gunfighter and the owner of the world's most famous pair of unreal mammary glands, is to lend her name to a new £36.2 million road in Derby.

More than 27,000 people took part in a ballot to christen the road, which runs from Osmaston Road to Burton Road. The Tomb Raider heroine landslided it with 89% of the vote.

Defeated candidates include footie legend Steve Bloomer, astronomer John Flamsteed and engineer George Sorocold, all notable for being born in Derby and not having breasts. Even pretend ones.

Local councillor and cabinet member for planning and transportation Lucy Care did her best to hide her dismay. "The vote really captured the imagination of people from across the world and, despite my lack of gaming knowledge, I accept that a majority of 89% for Lara Croft is too overwhelming to ignore.

"She was created in Derby and deserves to stand alongside some of the more traditional icons of the city." Florence Nightingale must be spinning in her grave.

The first, best-selling Tomb Raider game was created by Core Design (in Derby) and released in 1996. Lady Croft has been modelled by such real-life jawdroppers as Angelina Jolie and Nell McAndrew. Thanks, BBC.

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Guess the miniature celebrity

Edwin — 2010-02-25T14:19:00 00:00

Filed under: Pictures & Hidden Objects, Free Online Games, Celebrity Connection

Nitrome's turned in another light-hearted winner. In Skywire VIP, a colourful stream of flea-sized iconic figures and celebs hit the stage by cable car. Your job? To work out the identity of each one before the clock runs down.

A few of the VIPs (not many) are native to Nitrome itself, so you might want to bone up on the developer's other games before taking the stand. Don't worry, there's a hints system.

Play Skywire VIP

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Can't pay your taxes? Ensure nobody else can either

Doree — 2010-02-25T13:46:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Funny & Weird

There are three kinds of people: those who play the system, those who are played by the system, and those who nut the system full in the face aboard a speeding aircraft. Warning: Tax Time! might hit a nerve if you reside in the New York area.

Play Tax Time!

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Mental-brilliant streaky neon helicopter warfare

Edwin — 2010-02-25T06:50:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Retro Arcade, Guns & Ammo

We were going to hold off on the old top-down shooters for a while, it being something of a niche genre, but Alternative Indie Games's Pyroblossom is just too sumptuous to ignore.

It also features helicopters. Here's the last helicopter game we blogged. More please.

Play Pyroblossom

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Apple road-testing 'explicit' category for iPhone apps?

Doree — 2010-02-25T05:46:00 00:00

Filed under: Mobile & iPhone Games, News & Abuse

To bolster its family-friendly credentials, Apple recently wiped 5,000 sex-oriented apps off the face of the App Store. There are indications, however, that this may have been more of a tactical retreat before consumer prudishness than a genuine one.

In the wee hours of yesterday morning, an unnamed iPhone developer alerted mac cultist's favourite Cult of Mac to the existence of an 'Explicit' category on the iTunesConnect platform. The claim was subsequently verified by other outlets, including Recombu.

Apple has now removed the option, but another unnamed developer has come through with the news that an Explicit category is under consideration. Apparently, though, "it's not going to happen anytime soon". Boo hiss.

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Death by bubble gum overdose

Edwin — 2010-02-25T04:52:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games, Fun with Physics

So you like chewing gum, do you? Well how would you like to chew... all the gum in the world? Bwahahaha.

We, the digital wing of the Spanish Inquisition (est. 2002) have devised the most exquisite instrument of torture for those of you who habitually stick masticated lumps of slightly sugary rubber to the undersides of tables. You fiends.

What is this - a free gum ball? Heavens. Have I stumbled into an earthly paradise? Why here's another... and another. And another. Gosh, somebody's got plenty of small change to spare.

OK, I think that's enough now. Stop please. Can you hear me up there? I said that's enough. Stop. Stop! There's too much! I'm drowning in artificial flavours! Help! I have a wife and children! NOOOOOO -

Play Bubble Gum Run

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Who's for kart-racing?

Doree — 2010-02-24T18:29:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games

Fans of fairground Dodgem rides, please start your engines...

Play Kart On

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Go banker-bopping with the mad karate man

Edwin — 2010-02-24T17:55:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Precision & Timing

People have found all sorts of remedies for "recession depression", as we've decided to classify it in a fit of hip hop pretentiousness. Glue-sniffing. Low budget domestic entertainments, such as the timeless ball and cup. Spending time with their families, assuming the kids haven't been sold into slavery.

But by far the most effective, in our view, is punching irresponsible businessmen in the face. Not to mention shoeing them in the privies and zapping them with mystic Far Eastern energy. Gets right to the heart of the matter, don't it.

Mad Karate Man is a weirdly broken-apart, weirdly addictive slice of taxpayer revenge. There are several stages. First, you click the mouse when the little marker hits green to sock a banker skyward. Then you leap up and administer further blows, again by clicking. One more final click sends the poor sap into full-on horizontal flight.

The more damage you deal, and the further your victim flies, the more points you score. Points, as any dojo master should know, are for upgrades. Upgrades enable higher levels of whoop-ass. Brilliant.

Play Mad Karate Man

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Monkeying about with balloons

Doree — 2010-02-24T17:28:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Retro Arcade, Guns & Ammo

If you're new to Ninjakiwi, Know Thou This: wherever there be'est a balloon, shalt there be a monkey intent on popping it.

Bloons Supermonkey turns the idea right up to eleven. It's a top-down arcade bonanza with all the reward of shooting stuff and none of the risk of getting shot in return. Pilot your caped banana-guzzler with the mouse, laying waste to all that is buoyant and spherical.

Play Bloons Supermonkey

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How to make a wicked browser game

Edwin — 2010-02-24T08:49:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Educational

Since Flytrap first opened its bright, bottle-green gates to the internet a year and a bit ago, we've played, screen-capped and written up well over a thousand free browser games. This is A Scary Figure, and makes us worry seriously about the state of our souls (not to mention the state of our waistlines) but there are two redeeming consequences:

(1) You may, having stumbled on this site while Googling for bug-ridden clothing, have come away slightly or even moderately entertained.

(2) We are now, provably, free game experts.

And what good is an expert who doesn't presumptuously dish out his or her opinions to the masses? No good whatsoever. So despite knowing diddly about how you actually go about blueprinting, funding and coding a piece of software, we've thrown together a little Flash game cookbook.

Here are six ways to make a game unmissable.An instant hook

On the internet, accessibility is king. No, more than that - emperor. King emperor, even. Our attention spans have been worn to a sliver by tides of Facebook updates, Youtube clips and, of course, the all-conquering Tweet. Anything that doesn't get right to the point in a big way is history. So your game's first thirty seconds of screen-time must be its finest. The concept, or at least part of it, should be punchier than Mike Tyson on adrenaline shots. At best, you'll be able to fit everything a player needs to get going into the title (step forward Circle the Cat, Spot the Dot and, erm, Monkey Poo Fight).

Zero tutorial screens

Goes hand in hand with the preceding point. The player didn't expend precious, precious calories clicking the link to read a manual on keyboard etiquette, dang it. He or she wants to play a game. If yours is of above-average complexity, then teach us how to play it while we're playing it, by walking us through some easy introductory levels.

A gentle difficulty curve

The key thing about people on the internet is that they're usually there because they should be doing something else, i.e. work. This means they'll be put off by anything that looks, sounds and handles like work. So if you're going to challenge them, you'll need to up the ante subtly. Don't make the player disarm six atomic bombs at once in the first two minutes - get them started on a homely stick of TNT. Lull their suspicions (cackle). Don't completely trample the difficulty curve, mind, or the punters will lose interest, but take your time. Isoballs has the right idea.

Simple, expressive, low-spec = good

For all the fuss we kick up whenever a mighty fine-looking 3D Flash game hits the net, technical overkill isn't always advisable. It'll cost you more, for one. It'll put more stress on the player's computer and internet connection, for another. Not everybody has 50 megabytes a second and a gig or two of RAM lying around spare. So skimp on costly resources, and go large on simple, expressive designs. If performance issues still threaten, give the player a choice of quality settings.

Social connectivity

So you've suckered some poor fool into blowing their lunch hour on your project. How do you transform that minor productivity blip into a fullscale downward slide to unemployment? Well, one way to keep 'em coming back is to build in social networking features: online high score tables to massage the player's competitive streak, IM chat boxes (like those on Kongregate) to draw out their inner gossip, Facebook and Twitter cross-over so they can share their activities with colleagues and thus attract new converts.

Mute buttons

It sounds stupid, but the absence of a mute button can wreck a game for us. We say this not just because our taste in music dates from the 1970s, whereas the Flash community has more of an ear for present-day MTV and Nickleodeon fodder, but because we often find ourselves playing on the sly - getting a quick round of Ice Breaker in at a relative's funeral, for instance, or tapping away furtively at Colony in the bog. We might also be listening to Youtube, or enjoying the sound of our own voice.

Any tips of your own, readers?

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More clouds of bullets to narrowly avoid

Doree — 2010-02-23T16:34:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Retro Arcade, Swords & Lasers, Guns & Ammo

Top-down shooting time. Starmageddon has all the bloated alien bosses, serpentine fighter formations and glittering bullet fusillades a retro freak could ask for.

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe..."

Play Starmageddon

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Re-invent the wheel by pushing blue buttons

Edwin — 2010-02-23T08:54:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Pictures & Hidden Objects, Free Online Games

Hot question for the comments thread: is the star of OneClickDog's Mogo-Mogo a racist caricature or not? And if he is, should you care enough not to play one of the best point and click puzzlers in ages?

Bogo has a dream, a dream of a world in which back-breaking agricultural labour is a distant memory. Trouble is, the invention that will make this dream a reality is lost deep in the folds of his concussed brain.

Aided by a winged orb which looks like the Golden Snitch from Harry Potter, you must find your way through dream scenarios to get at the secret. Blue buttons open portals to new areas, but those buttons are seldom ripe for the pushing.

Point, click and do anything but think inside the box.

OneClickDog made Little Wheel, in case you didn't know. That game was awesome too. Less, um, racey though.

Play Mogo-Mogo

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Facebook Blackjack turns in strong hand

Doree — 2010-02-23T07:33:00 00:00

Filed under: Cards & Board, Facebook Games

Let's get one thing straight as a laser beam, kittens: Blackjack is not Pontoon.

The Americans like to say it is, and are in the process of getting away with it - mainly because they own Wikipedia, which draws a distinction between the American "Blackjack" and English "Black Jack", as though a space bar input were all it took to cancel out years on years of sporting tradition. We disgruntled Brit bloggers know better.

In the card game properly known as Blackjack, the idea is to lose a hand of seven or more cards by taking turns to put them down. In the card game improperly known as Blackjack, you start with a hand of two and must score a total value of 21 or less.

Card Ace: Blackjack developer Self Aware Games is thus guilty of dire linguistic negligence. We'll forgive them, though, because we like Pontoon, and this here's one of the best ways to play it on Facebook.

Play Card Ace: Blackjack

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Like Peggle? Like cats? Like sushi?

Edwin — 2010-02-23T06:18:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games, Fun with Physics, Precision & Timing

Sushi Cat's favourite food is yoghurt. No it isn't, you fool, it's sushi. And sushi is what Sushi Cat had better get.

'Cos when Sushi Cat doesn't get sushi, he gets nervous. And when Sushi Cat gets nervous, he gets excited. And when some huge, wobbly, feline jelly doughnut gets excited, you have to try the level again.

It's Peggle - ball drops into maze, scores points on its way to the bottom - but instead of a ball you're equipped with Nature's answer to pet anorexia, and instead of points you're collecting sushi.

The more sushi the cat eats on his descent, the more pounds he puts on and the harder it gets to squeeze through gaps.

Try Droplets for a Peggle clone of the rabbity persuasion.

Play Sushi Cat

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Ninjas ALWAYS take the hard way

Edwin — 2010-02-23T05:32:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Precision & Timing

Sorry for the slow start yesterday folks. I physically carried *every bit* of property I own from my old flat to the new place on Sunday, thus annihilating my forearm muscles and temporarily disabling my keyboard skillz.

Sure, I guess I could have hired a van, but that would have been taking the wimpy route. If something's worth doing, after all, it's worth all but paralysing your upper body over.

The hero of FastGames' Hard Way is of a similar mentality. Sure, he could run from right to left, and thus away from all those enemy ninjas, ravening wolves, blazing fires and sheer drops, but where would be the honour in that?

Click to slash nearby objects and throw your sword at distant ones. Once thrown, it'll take you a second or so to reclaim the blade. Bear this in mind when confronting more than one obstacle.

Fancy getting a friend involved? Try G-Switch.

Play Hard Way

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The easiest room escape ever

Edwin — 2010-02-22T08:57:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games

If it takes you longer than a couple of minutes to complete this, you should probably retake those GCSEs. Thanks, Bart.

For something marginally harder, try Space Oddity and Six.

Play Space Room

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Walk a mile in these alien shoes

Edwin — 2010-02-22T08:33:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games

Pixellante's ImmorTall is an affecting 2D account of a stranded extra-terrestrial's efforts to protect his adopted human family in the midst of war.

It's tremendously elegant, and tremendously short. No excuses for not hitting the link. Past hits from this developer include the rather more light-hearted Oozing Forever.

Play ImmorTall

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Kill-or-be-killed multiplayer: it's Boxhead

Doree — 2010-02-19T12:54:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Multiplayer Fests, Guns & Ammo

I've been having some fun with a new game in a cool series I hadn't heard of until now, Boxhead.

Boxhead: Bounty Hunter has you jump into a new game and hit the streets, where you proceed to run around and shoot other players to death, with your choice of guns and only a few cars dotted around for cover.

It's sort of like GTA IV multiplayer mode, except from a top-down perspective, in a web browser, and free. Oh, and everyone has box-shaped heads, obviously. This will be eating up some of our weekend time for sure... enjoy yours!

Play Boxhead: Bounty Hunter

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Bringing colour to the Hueman race

Doree — 2010-02-19T12:26:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Running & Jumping

Here we've got the latest quirky platform game - it's called Primary.

Playing as the unremarkably named "Roy", your mission is to save the world and its 'Hueman' inhabitants from... THE VOID (!), which has robbed the world of all its colour!

The cool part is that you can change Roy's colour to red, blue or yellow, each corresponding to certain platforms or switches in the platform game environment. Controls are a bit fiddly at first, but it's a nice concept and very well presented. Take a look.

Play Primary

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Dear Homer, am I officially a casual gamer?

Doree — 2010-02-19T11:43:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Mobile & iPhone Games, Retro Arcade

I'm not sure I could pinpoint an exact moment I stopped being a hardcore console gamer and became a softened up casual gamer (for want of a better term), but I realised this is probably the case after finishing The Simpsons Arcade for iPhone recently.

As the pile of AAA console games I'll probably never get around to bothering with builds up (including Modern Warfare 2, Heavy Rain and who knows how many others), it's the cheaper thrills of games like The Simspsons that I've been finding more appealing. And you can play it without even getting out of bed!

It's based on the original Konami side-scrolling arcade game from the nineties, but glammed up for the iPhone and iPod Touch with some superbly detailed graphics. While the action can be a little repetitive and mindless, that's part of the game's appeal - and it features all your favourite characters from Springfield. It's quite tough towards the end as well.

It costs a few quid, but I'd recommend this one for iGamers.

Get The Simpsons Arcade at iTunes

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Help Rupert guard his stones in Jewel Quest Heritage

Doree — 2010-02-19T11:30:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games

Bejeweled and its ilk have been sapping valuable office time for nearly a decade now, but they're still going strong. Among the latest additions to the still-roaring match-3 genre is Jewel Quest Heritage, the fourth game in the popular story-meets-stones series, which is hitting virtual shelves this week.

Flytrap sister site Aol Games has the new game, which sees dapper leading man Rupert trapsing down the winding genetic path in search of genealogical facts to foil the dastardly Sebastian Grenard, who has stolen our hero's puzzle board. The game comes with 175 boards and includes a few new modes to keep you experts on your toes.

Play Jewel Quest Heritage

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We are all birds - confused ones

Doree — 2010-02-18T12:02:00 00:00

Filed under: Pictures & Hidden Objects, Free Online Games

It is officially Too Late In The Day to tackle any hyper-conceptual artsy-fartsy nonsense.

We Are All Birds features odd twangy sound effects, floating eyeballs, fabric, colour puzzles, fish and that's pretty much all the analysis I'm good for right now.

Point and click to achieve... something. The production values are superb. It's a far cry from former Ninja Kiwi offerings.

If this suits, try Upon My World.

Play We Are All Birds

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Help a robot escape the tyranny of shadows

Edwin — 2010-02-18T11:25:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics, Running & Jumping

So what does State of Play do when it isn't crafting lush pop-up book puzzles or chunky American Football sims? Well, it creates games about small, spherical robots trapped in poorly lit labyrinths.

The jumping's a little fiddly, and there's a certain trial-and-error mindset at work that may put you off, but Aubital is quite the atmosphere fest. Cryptic notes chalked across the scenery furnish the odd hint and grant access to the backstory.

Much of the environment is pitch-black, but you can temporarily relieve the gloom by releasing a sonar wave with spacebar.

Cave, Beacon and Small Worlds are down with the light/dark thing.

Play Aubital

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This is the only level TOO!

Doree — 2010-02-18T10:54:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games, Running & Jumping

You know a game's onto a Good Thing when all you need do for the headline is quote its title. That's right, This Is The Only Level has spawned a sequel. Fresh elephants! More spiky things! Upbeat brass band soundtrack! Yippee.

As before, the idea is to complete the same, single-screen level multiple times under different conditions.

Said conditions vary wildly. Gravity may be reversed. You might be limited to three jumps. And all the while the timer tinkles on...

Play This Is The Only Level Too

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Six walls, six creatures, six possible getaways

Edwin — 2010-02-18T07:41:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games

Six is a swish, hard-as-nails escape puzzler with six possible endings. If you're averse to hexagons (or giant snakes), look away now.

First one to discover all the escape routes gets to pick which celebrity we belittle next.

Play Six

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A rolling ball gathers plenty of blocks

Doree — 2010-02-17T12:52:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games, Retro Arcade

Balls. Holes. You know what to do. After all, you've had it drummed into you for months. We bet you can't so much as walk past a grocery stand these days without lobbing a cabbage at somebody's window.

Those pink blocks, directional arrows and ramps could come in handy.

Play Isoballs 2

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Average social gamer is 43-year-old woman

Edwin — 2010-02-17T10:25:00 00:00

Filed under: News & Abuse, Educational

So you've been lying to us, it seems. For years (well, a year and a bit) we thought our readers were predominantly pimpled, overweight, lanky-haired teenagers in greasy Star Trek T-shirts. Turns out a hefty percentage of you are in fact respectable older women.

Hell, you probably have a mortgage and subscribe to Cosmopolitan.

This revelation comes care of a survey by PopCap, the kindly tyrant of casual gaming. According to the associated press release, 55% of US-based players of social games are female, aged 48 years on average. In the UK, women account for 58% of the social gaming ecosystem, and the average age is 38.

Combine the two sets of figures, and what do you get? This.

We're very sorry for all our puerile jokes and laddish innuendo, ladies. We'll try harder in future.

Full press release over the leaf.
New Survey Reveals Social Gaming Phenomenon in U.S. and U.K.
Nearly a Quarter of All Consumers Now Play Social Games Regularly; Women Drive Latest Video Game Trend Ahead of Men

PopCap Games today unveils the results of a "social gamers" survey - that is, consumers in the U.S. and UK who play games on social networking platforms such as Facebook(R) and MySpace(R). More than 24% of internet users as a whole said they play social games regularly, indicating a total social gamer population of approximately 100 million people in America and the United Kingdom alone. And contrary to prevailing stereotypes, the average social gamer is a 43-year old woman.

The survey identified a number of differences between U.S. and U.K. and revealed that, while still in its infancy compared to the traditional video game industry, the social games sector represents a huge opportunity to reach hundreds of millions of consumers who historically do not play video games. The social games sector is projected by industry analysts and researchers to generate revenues of more than US$1 billion in 2010.

Two-thirds of all "social gamers" - defined by the fact that they play games on social networking sites and platforms at least once a week - are U.S.-based. 55% of all social gamers are female and 45% are male; the disparity is even larger among UK consumers (58% vs. 42%). The average age of social gamers is 43, with U.S.-based social gamers averaging 48 years of age compared to 38 for those based in the UK. Further, 46% of American social gamers are 50 or older, compared to just 23% in the UK. Only 6% of all social gamers are age 21 or younger.

More detailed survey results available at: http://www.infosolutionsgroup.com/2010_PopCap_Social_Gaming_Research_Results.pdf

Gender

· Women are more apt to play social games with real-world friends than men are (68% vs. 56%).
· Men are more inclined than women to play with strangers (41% vs. 33%); nearly twice as many women as men say they play social games with relatives (46% vs. 29%).

Frequency

· U.S. players tend to play more frequently, with 68% saying they play daily compared to 55% of U.K.-based social gamers.
· 61% of social gamers say their average social gaming session lasts more than half an hour; one in ten say their average session lasts 3 hours or more!

Social

· Social gamers spend 39% of all their time on social networking sites/services playing games. The second and third most popular social networking activities among social gamers are chatting with/messaging friends (17%) and playing non-social (solo) games (15%).
· Only 17% of UK-based social gamers chose "connect with others" as a reason for playing, compared to 28% of their U.S. counterparts.
· 62% of qualified survey respondents say they play social games with real-world friends, while 56% play with friends they've made online and 37% say they play with strangers.

· U.S.-based social gamers are far more likely to play with strangers than their UK counterparts (41% vs. 29%).

· Nearly half (43%) of social gamers say they also play social games with their parents, children, and/or other relatives.

Survey Methodology

This international research was conducted by Information Solutions Group (ISG; www.infosolutionsgroup.com) exclusively for PopCap Games. The results are based on 1,202 online surveys completed by Toluna/Greenfield Online panel members in the United States and United Kingdom between January 7 and January 12, 2010. Of the 1,202 respondents, 800 (67%) are from the US, while 402 (33%) are from the UK. To qualify for participation, individuals must play social games for more than 15 minutes a week.

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Iron Man, Spiderman and co try Tower Defence

Edwin — 2010-02-17T10:00:00 00:00

Filed under: Generals & Tycoons, Free Online Games, Celebrity Connection

Fancy some barebones tower defence with a dash of costumed heroics?

Run your latex-gloved fingers over Stark Tower Defense, in which Toby Maguire, Robert Downey Junior and the bassist from a Nordic metal band blast robots and tanks to stop them gatecrashing Downey's pad and stealing all his booze, or something.

Oddly enough, you can have more than one of each superhero in play at once. This presumably Goes Against Marvel Lore. Brace yourselves for a nerd rage.

Play Stark Tower Defense

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Introducing... the keyboard with a LOL button

Doree — 2010-02-17T08:35:00 00:00

Filed under: News & Abuse, Funny & Weird

Forget the iPad - this year's tech revolution is already in shops. Or American ones, anyway. The appropriately named Fast Finger Keyboards (via Kotaku) have released a keyboard which boasts hotkeys for "LOL", "BRB", "THX" and other common specimens of internet lingo.

The model also offers two alternative layouts - standard QWERTY and layman-friendly ABC. It'll set non-American buyers back around 44 dollars, including postage and packing.

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The simplest, fastest, cheapest multiplayer game around

Edwin — 2010-02-17T05:58:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Multiplayer Fests, Running & Jumping

Like Canabalt, G-Switch is a game in which you try to run as far as you can. Like VVVVVV, it's a game in which you can reverse gravity at the touch of a button.

Unlike either of these classics, however, it's also a same-keyboard multiplayer fest for up to six players. Gosh.

The screen scrolls left to right. Hit whichever button you're paired with to flip between floors and ceilings. It's all over the second your character strays outside the viewing area.

Play G-Switch

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Good cupid vs evil cupid

Doree — 2010-02-16T08:46:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games

Love is a fickle mistress, indeed. One minute you're over the moon, the next you're down in the dumps.

Hearts Apart puts a literal spin on the idea. The game alternates between two Cupids - one busily slicing lovehearts in two, the other just as busily glueing them back together.

Explains a lot, doesn't it? The next time your intended gives you the cold shoulder, keep an eye open for a glowering infant with a laser cannon.

Play Hearts Apart

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Play fantasy golf with your index finger

Edwin — 2010-02-16T06:32:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games

Like golf, but can't afford a club membership? No worries. Simply take one finger, a piece of balled-up tinfoil and a few random bits of desk clutter, and you can play away for free in-between emails.

Short on tinfoil or deskspace? Play Flicking Crazy Golf then. It's as straightforward a golf sim as they come - just point, click-hold and release to unite ball with hole - but it does have some rather lively backdrops. Our favourite's the Donkey Kong tribute.

Short on fingers? Sorry, we've got nothing for you.

Play Flicking Crazy Golf

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Let the green ones in, keep the red ones out

Edwin — 2010-02-16T05:29:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics, Precision & Timing

More racial segregation posing as absorbingly tactile block-knocking fun. Blosics 2 is Blosics with a makeover and the promise (as yet unrealised) of level editing shenanigans in weeks to come.

The basic idea is the same. Drag-click within the circle to aim and charge a projectile, release to fire it at green block structures. Every green block knocked off-screen equals a few points more. Bag 100 to complete the level.

Watch you don't knock the red ones off, or the great God of level completion will frown upon you.

Play Blosics 2

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The samurai with the sweet hat is back

Doree — 2010-02-16T05:06:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Swords & Lasers

Keyboard inputs? Arrow key movements? The Straw Hat Samurai doesn't have time for that nonsense. He's too busy slicing and dicing, see, zipping about invisibly in pursuit of the mouse cursor, pruning limbs from anybody unfortunate enough to be in the way.

We know a barbarian who could take him to school though.

Play Straw Hat Samurai 2

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Don't let sleeping cuboid royalty lie

Edwin — 2010-02-15T18:55:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics

Wake the Royalty is a blue-blooded revisiting of Wake the Box. Paste the objects you're presented with into the level to upset its delicate balance and awaken those snoozing aristos.

Don't try this at home, kids, or they'll probably hang you.

Play Wake the Royalty

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When words succumb to the laws of physics

Edwin — 2010-02-15T09:46:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Word & Number Puzzles, Fun with Physics

Whatever its jet-black arthousiness and genteel piano soundtrack may suggest, Deeper Beige's Prose and Motion is fairly accessible. It's a series of word riddles, but instead of typing the answer out you must drag-click and herd letters together like large, angular cats.

Several combinations are possible per level, but only one is "perfect". Occasionally the riddles are a little obscure, and it's tempting to just throw out the first word that comes to mind. There's a hint system if you're truly confuzzled.

The real physics feature is more than just a gimmick, thankfully - a few of the "perfect" answers rely on you manipulating the form of a letter. Knock an "E" on its side, for instance, and you'll have an "M" or a "W". Clever.

Play Prose and Motion

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Driller filler for acquisitive layabouts

Doree — 2010-02-15T07:13:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games

Small is Beautiful's Mega Drill is a distance game of subterranean inclinations. Players tunnel down into the treasure-infested reaches of the crust aboard the titular mining apparatus.

The further you dig, the more bling you'll find and the more funding local geological research groups will fling in your direction. Best spend some of the winnings on bigger fuel tanks, stronger drill bits and a beefier metal detector.

Go To Hell is similar but darker, as the title may suggest. Ditto Mountain Man.

Play Mega Drill

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Sex education with superheroes

Edwin — 2010-02-15T06:14:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Funny & Weird, Educational

There are few things cringier than the spectacle of local government - in this case, that of London, Canada - reaching out to da yoof. Especially when sex is involved.

Sex Squad is a sexual health quiz in which a wrestler with willies for arms fires STI-riddled sperm at you. Answer a question correctly and you'll bounce it back with a giant rubber johnny. Answer incorrectly and there will be an Unpleasant Sound Effect.

It's memorable, anyway. Which is presumably the point.

Play Sex Squad

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Overblown box patterns need blowing over

Doree — 2010-02-15T05:12:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Free Online Games, Precision & Timing

Thanks to Daniel Boutros for this one. Boxplode is a puzzler involving boxes, which you have to explode. The title being a cunning contraction.

Exploding occurs via the excitingly novel tactic of employing precise movements of the lower arm and wrist muscles to position the mouse "pointer" or "cursor" over the desired box, then pressing the device's button with your forefinger (if there's more than one button, press the leftmost).

For more info, check this FAQ.

Chain reactions are the order of the day, as you have a limited number of clicks. Each block has a number indicating how many times it needs to be exploded before you'll be rid of it.

Play Boxplode

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Top 5 least offensive dating sims

Edwin — 2010-02-12T12:05:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Galleries, Funny & Weird, Educational

Valentine's Day weekend is a tough period for Flytrap. The continuing popularity of our 10 games that will get you laid feature aside, lovebirds are scarce atop the icy turrets and spiked fences of the videogames industry. Gamers would rather blow people up than seduce them, basically.

Well, that's a half-truth. Gaming does have its romantic side. Scattered across the internet like petals after a hurricane are countless free dating sims, the staple diet of isolated middle-aged nerds and nasal Daddy's Little Girls alike.

To appease Cupid, we've rounded up a few for your inspection. It was a long, dreadful process. Horrible things have unfolded before our eyes. Horrible, fluffy, pinkish or lilac-coloured, borderline pornographic things.

Don't click on unless you can watch High School Musical without screaming.1. Woman on Top

Can you chat your way up the Eiffel Tower? Bizarre single man's platformer in which you bounce to the top of various landmarks to captivate stranded hotties. The odd stork will try to stop you, which is weird - we'd have thought they'd be all for a little romance, being in the baby delivery business and all.

2. Love Tester Deluxe

Try your potential marriage's mettle by comparing names and horoscopes. Providing you can withstand the terrible power of the Cute, anyway.

3. Deep Frozen Love

They don't make women like they used to, and that's why you need to dig a million-year-old specimen out of a glacier. Then you'll have to teach her to shave and use a toothbrush and stuff. One of the harder ways to get a snog.

4. The Mating Game

Coarse, childish fratboy shenanigans from Newgrounds (watch out for some X-rated material elsewhere on the site, younger readers). It's Friday night, and you need to score.

5. The Pickup Game

Disturbingly involved one-night-stand tutorial with disturbingly goofy faux-3D graphics. The best bit is choosing chat-up lines by flying a little biplane into icons along the bottom of the screen. Repel women whilst improving your reflexes!

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Elephant mouse-phobia tips over into violence

Doree — 2010-02-12T05:33:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Guns & Ammo

Remember the bit from Disney's Dumbo when Timothy the Mouse scares the pants off the snooty circus elephants? Well, imagine if one of those elephants had whipped out an AK47 and redecorated the tent with Timothy's insides?

Ratminator: The Mice Menace is your moderately bloody wave defence offering for the weekend. Point and click to croak touchy rodents before they chew through your barricade.

Balloon in the Wasteland was a shade more stylish about it.

Play Ratminator: The Mice Menace

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Super-nerd creates Resident Evil Monopoly board

Edwin — 2010-02-11T13:25:00 00:00

Filed under: Cards & Board, News & Abuse, Console Choice, Funny & Weird

A Resident-Evil-themed Monopoly board? Bit obvious, if you ask us.

Monopoly, after all, is the tabletop classic in which players compete to become the foremost property owner in London, while Resident Evil is a videogame in which you shoot the living dead in the face till they go back to being dead dead.

Plenty of common ground there. All it needed was somebody with a surfeit of spare time to do the donkey work.

Nicholas "Neptune" Endean is just that somebody. Read the story of his labours here, then look on the final results here. Nope, it's not available in shops, but if you've got a whacking great printer...

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Support struggling UFO biz by abducting rednecks

Edwin — 2010-02-11T07:17:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Swords & Lasers

What's that you've got there, oh justifiably titled Oddity Games? Goodness, it's a flying saucer sim in which you beam up hicks from the sticks to fuel an intergalactic canned meat industry.

Move the UFO with WASD, and click to suck unfortunate farmers, cows and Elvis impersonators into your on-board blender. You can also uproot inorganic objects like cars and boulders and drop them on buildings and stuff. Think Destroy the World meets Pillage the Village.

New levels are unlocked by fulfilling certain criteria on preceding ones e.g. mincing X number of schoolgirls. You can upgrade your ship with better engines and armor between rampages.

It could do with some ninjas, but this is first-rate funniness.

Play Abduction

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Yep, it's another basketball sim

Edwin — 2010-02-11T06:41:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games, Retro Arcade

Any more like this and we'll have to register with the NBA. Foot Locker's Three-Point Shootout is thoroughly retro and thoroughly viral. Hit space bar when the little indicator hits green to nail a basket.

Play Three-Point Shootout

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Ranch Life to rival FarmVille?

Doree — 2010-02-11T05:55:00 00:00

Filed under: Generals & Tycoons, Facebook Games

We've been playing the beta version of Ranch Life, a would-be FarmVille killer from Icebreak Games. It's a solidly put-together slow-burn animal husbandry sim, located towards the simpler end of the genre.

Players start off with a plot of bare grass, a rickety chicken coop and a feed tray. Progression is textbook: you buy livestock from the shop menu, wait for it to mature, plonk it down in the carefully non-evocative "production zone", wait for it to spawn offspring, and sell 'em off.

Then you buy bigger and better facilities, and more animals to inhabit them. It's the circle of life. Between yields, there's dung to be cleaned away, flies to be swatted and feed to be ground up.

Actions earn you experience points and, accordingly, level ups. Some of the larger or more exotic beasts are only available at higher levels.

There's just the one currency, and you can buy more of it with your credit card if hard graft sounds too, well, hard.

The game's biggest downside right now is that it's constantly trying to make you share stuff. No, I don't want my friends to know that I've just built a new stable, thanks. There are boundaries, you know.

Play Ranch Life

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Get your kitsch twitch on with a robot unicorn

Edwin — 2010-02-11T05:29:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Running & Jumping, Precision & Timing

Are you 35 or older? Right, fetch your neon boiler suit and some legwarmers, put on spangly goggles, drop a few caffeine tablets and get your smackers round this. That's right, it's Robot Unicorn Attack, the videogame adaptation of the concept album Michael Jackson never recorded.

The unicorn gallops relentlessly from left to right. Hit Z to bounce over gaps, and X to dash-smash through objects.

For something less gaudy and a hell of a lot tougher, try Run!!.

Play Robot Unicorn Attack

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More basketball, now with monsters

Doree — 2010-02-11T04:41:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games, Fun with Physics

Got your kicks from last week's Basketball, but found the game's forced fullscreen annoying? Here's the far less pushy Top Basketball.

The principles are the same: move the mouse to adjust your throwing arc, and click to plant that sucker. You get an audience too. It consists of small colourful monsters with ADD who occasionally say things like "lol" and "wow".

Top Basketball

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Blatantly barmy boomerang ballistics

Edwin — 2010-02-10T14:37:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games, Fun with Physics, Precision & Timing

We have a fair idea how boomerangs work, and we're pretty sure they don't work like this. That boomerang doesn't look like a boomerang, for a start. It looks like a half-eaten doughnut.

In Boomeranger, you throw the aforesaid doughnuts at bullseye targets to stop them cluttering up the Outback and robbing old ladies or whatever. Point and (wait for it) click.

Play Boomeranger

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Blobs away!

Doree — 2010-02-10T14:12:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games

Inside every little blob there's a slightly bigger blob trying to get out. Lend the chap a hand.

Play Blobber

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More Valentine cards sent through FarmVille than in reality

Edwin — 2010-02-10T04:39:00 00:00

Filed under: Facebook Games, News & Abuse

Ye gods. Not content with being bigger than Twitter, Zynga's FarmVille has handed out more Valentine's Day e-cards in 18 hours than the real-life card industry has managed all year. Better buy a netbook, Cupid.

The populous Facebook countryside sim got shot of 220 million Valentine's following the appearance of the cards earlier this week, as against approximately 152 million of the paste-and-paint variety in the past 12 months (source: Hallmark).

At this rate, the service is going to be bigger than Christmas.

We're guessing FarmVille-based Casanovas are rather less likely to get past first base, though. It's that tedious old "physical distance" factor, innit.

Stay tuned for more Zynga newz.

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It's... the official App Store Valentine's Day round-up

Edwin — 2010-02-09T12:17:00 00:00

Filed under: Mobile & iPhone Games

In a bid to achieve some sort of lovey-dovey critical mass, Apple's thrown together a Valentine's Day App Store page.

Offerings include a Purple Ronnie create-a-card tool, a romantic recipe package, a free collection of gooey poems, a "fearless dating companion" and a two player touch-puzzler which contains "infrequent/mild sexual content and nudity". Awww, innat sweet.

Prices range from £1.19 to diddly-squat. Hit the jump, lovebirds. There's bound to be something for you here.

The App Store Valentine's Day page

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Zoo animals make bad motorists

Doree — 2010-02-09T11:31:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics, Precision & Timing

What happens when you put a penguin in charge of ferrying the rest of the zoo from A to B? Absolute mayhem, that's what.

Zoo Transport is a physics game in which you pile crates of animals onto a flatback lorry with the mouse, then drive them to the delivery spot with the arrow keys. The road is treacherously uneven, and your cargo is often unruly. Monkeys won't sit still, for instance, while turtles object to high speeds.

For afters, why not get your teeth into Animal Stackers?

Play Zoo Transport

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Navigate towering rock clusters in a jetpod

Edwin — 2010-02-09T07:56:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Fun with Physics, Swords & Lasers

If you found Crow in Hell and When Pigs Fly rather tough (congratulations, by the way - you're officially a member of the human race), but like the idea of piloting a fragile airborne something around large, hazard-strewn environments, go for a spin in Cluster Lander.

Players take command of a little egg-shaped craft with four boosters, one per arrow key. Each level contains a data file with coordinates for the next, and your job is simply to retrieve it and return to the teleporter.

Did I say "simply"? Because it's anything but simple. Well, it is actually. Sure, there are floating mines and electrical forcefields and gun turrets and locked doors and stuff, but on Normal difficulty at least the ship is fairly sturdy. Floating arrows point up the next objective, so you'll have to try to get lost.

It's more of a twitchy, timing-dependent puzzler than an action game, but there is the odd shoot-out. Your ride has built-in stabilisers, but you'll need to knock it on its side to squeeze through smaller gaps.

Once you've beaten a level, you can race the "ghost" of your previous playthrough for bragging rights.

If exploration's your bag, try Small Worlds.

Play Cluster Lander

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Beat maze, get treasure, flee demon, rinse and repeat

Edwin — 2010-02-09T05:26:00 00:00

Filed under: Hot Manly Action, Free Online Games, Retro Arcade

The Maze Temple is a quickfire Pacman rip-off in which you find your way to the centre of a labyrinth, reclaim a treasure, and make it to the exit before the pursuing demon lunches on your grey matter.

Thin walls can be broken to make shortcuts, but doing this ticks the demon off royally, increasing its speed. Items like freeze and poison orbs will slow the beast down. Teleporters are your friend in a tight corner, but watch out - the destination's randomised.

Need more vision cones? Try Ultimate Assassin 2. Want more cheese? Here's Maus Trap.

Play The Maze Temple

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Rolling astronauts seek out music of the spheres

Doree — 2010-02-09T05:05:00 00:00

Filed under: Music & Rhythm, Free Online Games

To paraphrase Sir Francis Bacon, some songs are meant to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested.

The pink and globular Sonoricos have been doing rather too much of all four: their planet, once a veritable cacophony, is as silent as the grave. So they've sent out a bunch of hardy types in rocket ships known as Galactic Melody Catchers to pillage the acoustic riches of other worlds.

In the person of one such GMC, you must tumble around planets scooping up musical notes before the timer runs down. The arrow keys move and jump. Not every note is edible, so exercise caution.

The art design reminds us of Little Rocket.

Play Galactic Melody Catchers

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Make love, not high scores

Edwin — 2010-02-09T04:47:00 00:00

Filed under: Block & Gem Puzzles, Pictures & Hidden Objects, Free Online Games

Let's keep that Casanova vibe going with another point and clicker, the highly realism-deprived Romance Maker. It's a clone of an Eyezmaze puzzler, plus bluebirds and Cupids.

Click the objects along the top to place them in the scene. Each placed object will "level up" every turn, and some will interact with each other, so the order's important. Get that rosy-cheeked young couple in the mood.

Play Romance Maker

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Love is in the air for adventure gaming

Edwin — 2010-02-08T06:15:00 00:00

Filed under: Adventure & Room Escape, Free Online Games

Time for another Minoto game. This one's a bit romantic, what with Valentine's Day being just round the corner and all. No, the picture isn't all that representative.

Valentine & Cupid

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Get to grips with American Footie

Doree — 2010-02-08T05:59:00 00:00

Filed under: Sports & Racing, Free Online Games

We know nothing about American Football, other than that "the best dee-fense is a good oh-ffense" and you should always go long. Miniclip's Pro Football is still absolutely comprehensible. In fact, it's incredibly addictive.

There are two stages. First you've got to score a touchdown by bulldozing your way across a field sprinkled with defenders. Then you've got to kick the ball between those two shiny post things. All this is achieved with the arrow keys and Z.

If you prefer the English variety (and zombies), try something from Mousebreaker.

Play Pro Football

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Toy robots go time-travelling

Edwin — 2010-02-08T05:24:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Running & Jumping, Precision & Timing

Anyone out there read Calvin and Hobbes comics? There's an absolutely brilliant strip where the boy and his stuffed tiger go time-travelling. You should probably go read it. Then come back here and play this.

In Chronotron, you play a robot rocking a broken Tardis lookalike. Spare parts for the latter are scattered across the game's 35 levels (with another five available on Kongregate). To recover them, you'll need to create "clones" of yourself by repeatedly warping back in time.

Run and jump with the arrow keys, and hit space bar next to the time machine itself to do the timewarp (again). Be careful not to trap your past selves - everybody needs to make it back to the machine eventually.

No clone can run as fast as this one. Try Paradox Embrace for more meddling with dimensions.

Play Chronotron

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Grinning fruit threatened by hailstones, again

Doree — 2010-02-05T07:50:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Fun with Physics

Cover Orange 2 is Cover Orange with mildly fancier visuals and a "2" on the end. No bad thing in our book - sheltering fruit from inexplicably wrathful storm clouds never gets old.

Click to drop objects around or on top of your spherical charges, protecting them from the elements. The fruit have ickle weeny arms now with which to wave happily should you shield them adequately, or gesticulate in agony should you fail to do so.

Play Cover Orange 2

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Do babies dream of flying hotdogs?

Edwin — 2010-02-05T07:09:00 00:00

Filed under: Free Online Games, Running & Jumping, Funny & Weird

What do newborn infants dream of? Their imaginations have no memories to draw on, save those of the womb, no intricate, fertile aggregate of neuroses and prejudices.

Perhaps they dream of sheer darkness, stasis. Or perhaps they dream of winged sausages jumping on blocks.

Gregory Weir is the mind behind the slightly more straightforward but equally earnest Grow Your Own Dragon.

Play Babies Dream of Dead Worlds

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