Since Flytrap first opened its bright, bottle-green gates to the internet a year and a bit ago, we've played, screen-capped and written up well over a thousand free browser games. This is A Scary Figure, and makes us worry seriously about the state of our souls (not to mention the state of our waistlines) but there are two redeeming consequences:

(1) You may, having stumbled on this site while Googling for bug-ridden clothing, have come away slightly or even moderately entertained.

(2) We are now, provably, free game experts.

And what good is an expert who doesn't presumptuously dish out his or her opinions to the masses? No good whatsoever. So despite knowing diddly about how you actually go about blueprinting, funding and coding a piece of software, we've thrown together a little Flash game cookbook.

Here are six ways to make a game unmissable.

An instant hook

On the internet, accessibility is king. No, more than that - emperor. King emperor, even. Our attention spans have been worn to a sliver by tides of Facebook updates, Youtube clips and, of course, the all-conquering Tweet. Anything that doesn't get right to the point in a big way is history. So your game's first thirty seconds of screen-time must be its finest. The concept, or at least part of it, should be punchier than Mike Tyson on adrenaline shots. At best, you'll be able to fit everything a player needs to get going into the title (step forward Circle the Cat, Spot the Dot and, erm, Monkey Poo Fight).

Zero tutorial screens

Goes hand in hand with the preceding point. The player didn't expend precious, precious calories clicking the link to read a manual on keyboard etiquette, dang it. He or she wants to play a game. If yours is of above-average complexity, then teach us how to play it while we're playing it, by walking us through some easy introductory levels.

A gentle difficulty curve

The key thing about people on the internet is that they're usually there because they should be doing something else, i.e. work. This means they'll be put off by anything that looks, sounds and handles like work. So if you're going to challenge them, you'll need to up the ante subtly. Don't make the player disarm six atomic bombs at once in the first two minutes – get them started on a homely stick of TNT. Lull their suspicions (cackle). Don't completely trample the difficulty curve, mind, or the punters will lose interest, but take your time. Isoballs has the right idea.

Simple, expressive, low-spec = good

For all the fuss we kick up whenever a mighty fine-looking 3D Flash game hits the net, technical overkill isn't always advisable. It'll cost you more, for one. It'll put more stress on the player's computer and internet connection, for another. Not everybody has 50 megabytes a second and a gig or two of RAM lying around spare. So skimp on costly resources, and go large on simple, expressive designs. If performance issues still threaten, give the player a choice of quality settings.

Social connectivity

So you've suckered some poor fool into blowing their lunch hour on your project. How do you transform that minor productivity blip into a fullscale downward slide to unemployment? Well, one way to keep 'em coming back is to build in social networking features: online high score tables to massage the player's competitive streak, IM chat boxes (like those on Kongregate) to draw out their inner gossip, Facebook and Twitter cross-over so they can share their activities with colleagues and thus attract new converts.

Mute buttons

It sounds stupid, but the absence of a mute button can wreck a game for us. We say this not just because our taste in music dates from the 1970s, whereas the Flash community has more of an ear for present-day MTV and Nickleodeon fodder, but because we often find ourselves playing on the sly - getting a quick round of Ice Breaker in at a relative's funeral, for instance, or tapping away furtively at Colony in the bog. We might also be listening to Youtube, or enjoying the sound of our own voice.

Any tips of your own, readers?